Buhtt sex?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My balls are so social today.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
