he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
