He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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