is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
