Kiss
Puke
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
