Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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