I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We talked him into tasing himself.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
