It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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