It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
