Nicole vs. Life
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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