blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
