is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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