I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
