clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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