we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
