i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Im part way to drunk.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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