Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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