Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
