it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
