I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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