I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
