Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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