The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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