Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
