New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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