she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
