Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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