maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
