Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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