i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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