Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
