They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
