The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
