i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
