I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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