We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i've created a new STD.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
