My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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