So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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