is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
