Don't make out with my wife yet
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
