So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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