get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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