I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
