Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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