$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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