He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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