are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
