Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My liver just had a heart attack.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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