i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
