Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
