Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
