this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
