White coat. Heels.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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