Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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