My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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