Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
