If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
