No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
