i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
