I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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