It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
