I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
