Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize